Thursday, January 7, 2016

My trip to Switzerland

Last night I found myself staying in the nicest house I'd ever been in. A lakeside manor in full view of the Matterhorn in the Swiss alps. There was a huge party going on, inside and out was a crowd of my closest friends, Swiss allies, and government personnel. Then I got a call. The US needed me to fly a reconnaissance mission on the Swiss town across the lake. The only problem was, my SR-71 Blackbird I would be flying was also across the lake.

Being the heroic man I am, I jumped into action. Wasting no time at all I bared down to my skivvies and went to swim to my aircraft. Of course, even heroes have moments of weakness, and I was hesitant about swimming across an entire lake alone in the middle of the night. Thankfully, my buddy Doug who was doggy-paddling in the shallows agreed to swim to the opposite shore with me.

Moments later we reached the other side. Imagine my surprise when I found an exact copy of the house I was renting on this side of the lake! I knew my plane would be in the parking lot. But alas, I was still almost naked from my swim. I couldn't fly a plane in my underwear! Thankfully, the housekeeper here was the same as the one who was taking care of the house I was renting, and she let us in. I ran to the washing machine and pulled out a few articles of ruined clothing, socks with holes in them and an unraveled shirt; it wasn't much but it was all I needed. I was ready to fly.

We got to the plane, and although he had no flight experience, we elected Gian to be the pilot. We climbed aboard and started to taxi to the runway- a series of floating docks on the lake. Gian put the craft in motion down the driveway, scraping the wings on surrounding trees.

"Stop scraping it!" we yelled as he straightened out, going down the sloped road.

Then we heard honking. The housekeeper was following us in her SUV, and we were thrown into a panic. Did she want us to stop? To speed up? Was she going to kill us? Gian decided to skip the runway and instead gunned it down the hill, hoping to use the road as a ramp. I knew we didn't have enough speed, hell our main engines weren't even on! We made the jump, and I was sure we were going to fall into the water. We started to drop, descending quickly. Suddenly, not two feet from the water, our engines roared to life. The sound rippled around the canyon.

This startled Gian, and his lack of experience showed. The force slammed us down in our seats, and our helpless plane tumbled in the air like a broken firework. Flips and somersaults brought us back closer to Earth, and we dove nose first into the lake.


Gian pressed a button and water spewed out of the cargo bay. We slowly lifted from the depths, hovered in the air and settled down, floating like a graceful swan.

I got another call from the government.

"Haha, maybe we'll start him with something smaller next time."

And everybody laughed.

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