Friday, April 29, 2016

My trip to Japan, AKA The night I met Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton

So last night I was driving through Japan in my Suzuki, I was on this bridge following a white pickup truck when I accidentally bumped into him. He went spinning off the road, but I couldn't stop, my insurance would go way up! Luckily there was an ambulance behind me and he probably helped the guy.

Anyway I was almost out off gas, so I found a parking garage that probably had a gas station at the top. Little known fact, Japan has really confusing parking garages! I was going every which way in the building following the neon arrows that would surely lead me to petrol salvation. I finally made it to the top of the parking garage. It was dark at this point, and let me tell you, roof life is what it's all about in Japan. Everybody was hanging out on their roofs (rooves?) having a good time! Hundreds of people were on the top of this parking garage, and that's when I saw him on the edge.

Definitely an American. Kind of looked like a less ridiculous Kieth Richards. He was a cool guy, as if he was a rock star, but I didn't recognize him. He was sitting in an armchair, a lady next to him on a sofa by the edge of the balcony. I passed him in my search for gas, and he caught my eye.
     "Hey" he said
     "Hey" I said
     "Somebody get this man a ginger ale!" he demanded.

He didn't offer me a seat, but who in their right mind would stand up and drink ginger ale? I took the liberty of popping a squat next to his lady friend- who was quite appalled by my action. She squirmed to the corner of the couch, as far away from me as she could get.
     "Do you know who I am?" the man asked
     "Look closer"

It was at this time I noticed how old the man was, and how Jewish!
     "Bernie Sanders!" I exclaimed "which means the woman must be..."

And then everything went black.

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